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Starting Over...

What does one even say about starting over?

The answer: A lot.

I'm not sure I have the right words yet, but I do feel the need to start somewhere so I'll start with just a few.

I'm in my late thirties and I never thought I'd be completely rewriting my life. When we were younger, this is an age most of us associated with being settled down. We thought we'd have stability. The house, the family, the career. A life we'd be proud of and happy with. Maybe now-a-days that's not reality for many of us. Maybe we've made choices that gave us one of those things while we sacrificed the rest. Maybe we've seen too much. Maybe we don't believe the narrative we've been fed for most of our lives. Maybe we can't suck it up when we're unhappy. Maybe we are unwilling to stay in places and in the company of those that no longer serve us. I'm inclined to say, maybe it's just me. But I know I'm not alone.

So now, I set out on a new journey. One I'm very excited for. One I truly believe in. But with that comes fear. Fear that the insecurities I've buried for a long time will come back to the surface. Fear that I don't have what it takes. Fear that my thoughts will win and I lose.

I love the quote "Do it afraid." We can not allow fear to keep us from moving forward. We can't let it keep us from doing the thing we want to do. What we need to do. So in the presence of fear, we should just do it afraid.

I am confident that I'm on a path heading to the place I've searched for my entire life. Closer than I've ever been to the things I want to feel and be. I'm already feeling so much.

Fulfilled. Challenged. Inspired. Loved. Satisfied. Excited.

I want to be all of the above.
I want to feel all of it at once.
I don't want pieces of a life.
I want a whole life.

The question now...
Is a whole life possible or are we all destined to live with pieces?

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